Cycles and Spiritual People
I once told Papa, on observing him, that he’s hard to pin down—in fact, I told him he was as variable as a dancing flame, changing for each person he talks to and over time, as I watch him.
His response was that being whole allows him to vary. He does not need to be any specific person, nor does he need to be any specific way with people. He’s free to do as he feels like he needs to, as the spirit leads, or as he observes a situation needs. He got there over time, as he learned the lessons the spirits needed him to learn.
One of the hardest things to explain to people is the cycles that being on the spiritual path will put you through. Consistency is a virtue, to many people—they love to be able to expect you—and if you’re in a dark or low part of a cycle, it looks to them like you’re crazy. Not only are you inconsistent, but you’re out here feeling sad or down or low, and that’s bad, so there must be something wrong with you.
I swear to god the shit wealthy white Christian hippies contributed to spirituality, by way of the Puritans…
I think it’s important to remind yourself, at moment like this, of a few things:
This is a classroom. We’re all moving through lessons at our own pace. The fact that we’re here to learn is part of the essential terms of existing in this place.
The lessons span lives. Do what’s in front of you to learn and (figuratively) fuck the rest. Thinking about the rest is a distraction and it might just mean the lesson gets repeated, because you weren’t paying attention. The best way to “hurry” is to stop hurrying and focus on what’s in front of you. You have all of discernible time to learn it, but probably best if you don’t take that long.
People expect you to be predictable because it makes them feel better, which is none of your fucking business. They gonna have to manage their own feelings, which they definitely don’t like hearing or sensing (by your reaction.) But you can’t manage their bullshit, your hands are full.
Wherever you are on the path to enlightenment, that is where you need to be. You won’t be faced by something you can’t face—something that sucks to face, sure. But by definition, if it’s in front of you, you can do it.
There is no freedom like the freedom from feeling burdened by your ego and wanting to comply with other people’s expectations. That lesson, if it hasn’t happened, will. It’s something to look forward to, along with the myriad of freedoms the path will offer you.
Just because people expect consistency, expect constant positivity—well, I can expect anything I like without it happening, and it says more about their desire to be comfortable than it does about you. You can’t explain it to them, either. If that’s not where they are on their journey, the explanation sounds extra crazy to them. Just know you’re not responsible for the explanation or their perception of you.
You’re responsible to the divine, which you inch toward over the course of lives, bathed in that love which inspires you, which your spirits are emissaries of.
Happy travels, dear hearts.
