Vodou Culture 101: Spirit Marriage
This topic is somewhat controversial in vodou, with societies viewing it as a part of vodou, an immaturity on the part of the head priests of the temple or society, or some sort of attempt to exploit people by unsavory priests.
A mariaj lwa (spirit marriage) is exactly what it sounds like, without the connotations of monogamy. Some historians link it to the practice of plaçage, in which a white man took a non-white woman as his non-legal partner, typically promising to provide economically for her though he could not give her the legal protections of a wife. The comparison is apt enough. A spirit marriage has no legal standing, though it does have contracts. The contracts are enforced by the spirits, and attempting to break the contract usually results in harsh penalties.
There is, as my godfather says, no divorce for a spirit marriage.
In the house I initiated in, spirit marriage is considered a part of vodou. Not everyone gets married or needs to get married, and we generally wait for the lwa to propose. It’s possible for a person to propose, but not preferable for the same reason that marrying a stranger who is not interested in you is a bad idea. If there’s no mutual interest, the relationship ends up being extremely transactional and can be harsh.
It is best to both wait for the spirits to propose and to build a relationship with them before accepting the proposal. When both parties are interested, the marriage starts on a much more positive note than it does otherwise. The spirits are often persistent when they want to be married to someone, and in a reputable (positively aligned) house they can and will negotiate using the priests as intermediaries. You can accept a proposal under conditions, and the spirit will honor those conditions.
An example condition might be to get to know each other first, or to give you a set period of time to get the money or yourself together. The marriage, much like any marriage, is a serious commitment.
The motivations for a spirit marriage vary. The spirit usually provides something to the person they marry, written into the contract between the spirit and the person. Benefits come in two basic categories. Example benefits from the first include success in business or life, or money: anything which benefits the physical life of the person. The second, and the (frankly) smarter choice, involves the energy of the spirit. A marriage contract to an Ogou, for instance, might specify that the spirit spouse provide the human spouse with strength, or a character trait in which the human spouse is weak and that spirit is strong.
Let’s just say that the request for help with a character trait provides you with a lot more options in life than a request for money does, including the better ability to earn money. But to ask for that, you must be convinced that you aren’t perfect and want to improve.
The marriage itself is a marriage. The character of the marriage depends on the people involved, and of the two the human is more moody and inconstant. Spirits in a positively aligned house are not flighty, nor are they moody, nor are they capricious or malicious in marriage.
They make, and I say this from personal experience, really superior spouses.
